TACO CITY ROCKERS
Um, these bands came from San Antonio. Get out your maps. San Antonio is
exactly one six pack south of Austin, and one
long evening at 75 miles per
hour to Houston, one late night drive after closing from the Gulf of Mexico, and
too far
to even think about going to El Paso. . Oh yeah, living is great. If
you don't like it leave. Somebody will take your job,
because we don't have
many. Go to Austin to be hip, go to Dallas to get rich, go to Houston to gag on
the air.
MENUDOCIDE
"Taco City Rockers" Former members of Menudo living in San
Antonio did not get the joke and beat
the shit out of their lead singer
outside a local nightspot. It made the Spanish edition of The Star tabloid. 1993
SHIT MAGNETS
"Big Woman's Touch" One of their more unusual shows took
place at a rented skating rink. In order
to get near the band, the audience
had to strap on skates, but, that involved risking falling down and looking
stupid.
So most of them ended up looking really stupid by standing 20 yards
away across the floor at the snack bar. 1987
MYSTERY DATES "Man in the Middle" The Mystery Dates' singer was known for his habit of bending over
and rubbing
the microphone around his anus on stage. Nobody wanted to sing
after him. They put a t-shirt out featuring the singer
in his famous pose.
He was also in The Vamps, who opened up for the Sex Pistols at Randy's
Rodeo. 1982
SMART DADS "Reality" The Smart Dads wouldn't let a
little thing like not having a drummer stop them from being in a
band. Fans
of the Hickoids (and Bang Gang) might find it interesting to hear what singer
Jeff Smith sounded like sober. 1981
RAGING WOODIES "Duh Uh" The Raging Woodies had a problem. they had a big show in Austin
opening for the
Big Boys and the Minutemen, but their singer was grounded. No
problem. They got a guy who had never appeared on
stage before to fill in.
Since he'd never heard the songs before he replaced all the original words with
grunts and ABBA
lyrics. Impressed, the band made him their permanent
singer. 1985
PAUL LOVE "Tough Guy" A sensitive 6 and a half foot,
270 pound skinhead poet, he performed at coffee houses
whilst on probation
for weapons violations. 1994
MARCHING PLAGUE "Who Cares" The Marching Plague unexpectedly got some flack from fanzines for
a song on
their 7" EP lamenting that Yoko Ono hadn't been shot instead of
John Lennon. Their singer gained wide distribution but
no fame as the voice
of Anus Presley on the Butthole Surfer's first release, even earning a reference
in the book
DEAD ELVIS. 1982
TOEJAM "Maria" The son of
a hardcore fire and brimstone Hispanic Presbyterian preacher, their singer had
received
the call. He would ramble on between songs with exhortations to sin
and sin again. 1985
CHILDREN IN
PAIN "Down with the Government" Dad
drove them to gigs, and made small talk with club owners
while his boys
ripped through songs about killing parents and destroying society. Sometimes,
the head of the 12 year
old drummer could not be seen over the top of his
tom-toms, making it seem like they had an invisible drummer.
What every mom
& dad thinks punk rock is. 1987
HYDROLIC SNO-MEN "Frosty's Dead" Carsurfing vodka swillin' punkers, they all still live on the same
block at
mom & dad's house. 1988
REJECTS "EEG" Their
drummer was last spotted playing piano with the San Antonio Symphony. Their
guitar player
was last spotted playing lap steel guitar in country
bands. 1980
INITIAL CAUSE "No One Cares" Part of the DMZ Clubhouse
crowd, they had to replace a bass player on short
notice when he sold his
bass rig for a skateboard. 1990
BANG GANG "She Ran but We Ran Faster" Three quarters of every show consisted of requests for beer and
decisions
about potential songs, as the singer got increasingly drunk.
Somehow he always seemed to end up at the bottom of a dog
pile or in a stupor
with his head inside the bass drum. Being politically incorrect when politically
incorrect wasn't cool, they
had trouble with distribution of their 7" EP from
editors who thought they meant it. 1983
LOS #2 DINNERS "Downtown San Antonio" The band's name came from the enchilada plate at the Blanco
Cafe,
their favorite Mexican restaurant. Their EP featured songs like this
one which summed up life in our town. 1981
FDR "Concrete Feet" As
true Texans, they were avid fans of "The People's Court" and proud members of
the National
Rifle Association. 1985
WHOREMONGER "White Trash Messiah" Their singer, Spider Mike, was a superstar in Dallas and later
in
San Antonio even before he was in a band. Previously a garbage man at a
trailerpark. he is now a garbage man for
the city. 1991
NUKLEAR FISHTICKS "And Then They
were Dead" Stories about them revolve around gun shot wounds
causing
them to miss shows and severe beatings by police causing damage to the members' members. 1995
LOST
IN SPACE "Millions of Dead Spocks" Made
up of members of various bands (always including a clarinet player
and some
guy in a Darth Vader helmet shooting a ray gun) playing instruments other than
their own, once they took the
stage, they would never ever leave. 1983
PERTURBED
"Bottle of Mine" The Perturbed marked a return to sounds
and:attitudes of the early '80's, when they
started playing at The DMZ in the
early '90's. A total vinyl believer, the singer put out the 7" Texas Bashing I
& II
compilations, as well as the Taco City Rockers comp. 1991
FEARLESS IRANIANS FROM HELL "Whats the News" Singing lyrics in Farsi,
threatening the audience with the
wrath of Allah, and appearing on stage in
ski masks, these rock terrorists converted masses of skinhead youth to
Islam.
This is a demo version of a cut that later appeared on the band's
first album. 1984
X-MEN "Triple X Baby" A Bone Klub favorite,
probably the only band on this record that's had music lessons. 1986
SPLEEN
"Universal Appeal" With big hair, glamorous fashions and
maintaining that they are worldwide superstars,
constantly touring the
planet, helping to save young attractive orphan girls, Spleen means it when they
say "When it
comes to music, nobody looks as good as Spleen." Used by
permission of Stingersound Kyobi Japan. 1990
NO WAY MUFFO "In San Antone" Hating San Antonio. they also hated San Antonio bands. Muffo
garnered publicity
for their practice of setting up uninvited in malls and
serenading the shoppers until the police made them pack it up. 1984
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